3 am…I am wide wake again, I always thought I was immune to jet lag…I could sleep through anything.
I guess this is one way to wake up with more time on my hands and more hours in the day.
As I tossed and turned trying to shut off my brain I felt an extra pair of limbs…little limbs…my daughter had once again snuggled in between us. Normally the feeling of frustration would emerge as we each fight for our own space, but this time, her innocent snore won! Rather than being upset I stared in awe…overwhelmed that I was given two happy girls to raise! How did I get so blessed?
All I can think is ‘whatever happens tomorrow doesn’t matter cause we have had today!'. Watching their little bodies move as they hypnotically inhale & exhale. There is peace in watching them sleep (no matter the snore or flailing arms) somehow it magically washes away any stress from the day.
The flight home from Africa was great…I don’t think I have watched so many movies in the past year let alone one sitting…and I think I cried at each one. Call it emotional I call it inspiration.
I always seem to have a new favorite quote from any movie I watch. ‘I don’t know how she does it’ was no different…”The best thing about being a mom is I am a movie star to my kids in a world where there are no critics.”
When we arrived home that was so very true. Pulling into the driveway and seeing our little people peering out the front room window, so excited I thought they were going to jump through it! Thankfully the doors swung open and both kids ran into our arms. Hugging so tight and not letting go. For those few minutes we were the only people in the world.
I know I do a lot of things wrong but life has a way of teaching you to shift the balance, to maybe not make things right but to actually DO some things right. As I return to a full summer schedule I now know it’s OK to say you have an appointment AND its ok that it’s with your family. MY kids will one day be grown and I don’t want to blink and miss it!
I want them to remember so many things from their childhood!! Will they remember all that we missed or can the memory be that we tried to do it all…all for them! That although things weren’t perfect that we DID have times of laughter…it may only be a few minutes at a time BUT we did LAUGH!!! AND we went places without them but it was so we could be better parents and they could have their own experiences!!
Boundaries are hard but necessary, of course this in part has to do with parenting but I think the hardest boundaries to set and stick with are with my own. Something Africa has challenged me to work on!
Thank you to the grandparents in our life that made our trip possible. Without them we wouldn’t have experienced all we did and my girls wouldn’t have had the experiences with them that they will forever remember!
Even thought as parents we do things wrong I believe we have more hits than misses.
Sometimes things HAVE to change…what better time than now. I choose to stop and enjoy the hits and being the MRS. to my man!